This and that

I am at a point in time, pregnant with possibilities, impatient to go forward but mindful of the foundations I need to put in place. It is like the time I left London and returned to Singapore, with all that education. So many possibilities but overwhelmed with those same possibilities.

I am a bit older now, am more certain of my path and wiser to the pitfalls in front of me. I would love to throw myself headlong into the middle of commercial photography, but the entrance is hard to find. And I am afraid that if my studio is not prepared, the exit would not only be much easier to find, it would present itself to me.

It is funny though that I have met several photographers who have heard of me. At least one photographer who thinks I am established and is surprised that I went to intern in Chicago. I know the worth of my work and I know that I am worth more than I charge at the moment. But I also know that I am nowhere close to where I want to be eventually. And I am not even talking about being 'successful' in the normal Singaporean sense. I am talking about having the vision and know how to take exceptional photographs. On Paul Elledge's reccomendation, I have subscribed to communication arts. I received the photography issue today. Turn to any page and I can see how lacking my work is. I have always believed that in something like photography, the day you think you have arrived, is the day you die. To continue improving, there is a continual hunger in you.

I have several ideas actually on how to make money from photography and be 'successful'. But that has not been the aim of my photographic practice. It has been to earn enough money to run a studio so that I am able to make the best images that I can. And even if I want to be a commercial photographer and succeed, I will never ever become rich from this pursuit. And looking at the conditions and hours that photographers have, this line of business is not glamorous. Even if you are fortunate enough to become a fashion photographer and shoot a supermodel, it does not mean that the experience is going to be wonderful or that your social life is going to be rated X. So many commercial photographers are so busy it is hard for them to retain a relationship, at least in the normal sense. In many instances, the wives of great photographers are also involved the photographer's business.

Oh heck. I am just plotting a path between shooting projects from my heart, running a business, maintaining an office, keeping healthy and eecking out time for friends and family. Honestly, I could spend all my time honing my photographic skills, but that would be the death of me as everything else around me crumbles.

For those of you who continue to stumble and struggle along, I dedicate Jewel's Good
Day to you.