Wednesday, June 07, 2006

Back in Singapore

I reached back to Singapore yesterday at 5pm. I am in a jetlagged zombie state, tired but unable to sleep.

With all that I have learnt in the last few months, my mind is reeling. I am overwhelmed with lighting, lenses, cameras, studio management, the road forward. I am not even sure how much I have left in me of myself.

If you ask me how I feel to be back home, I am in a mix of emotions. Happy to be home, wondering what the future will bring. I am much more knowledgeable but not necessarily more knowing.

In truth, I am starting on a clean slate. Although I am still shooting bridal portraits, there is a whole new career in front of me in commercial work. And as much as I have the same office, I will have to overhaul the entire office. As much as I have a vision for the road ahead, I cannot envision the destination.

All I can do is do what I can. And it is ironic that as much as I want to make a living in commercial photography, I need to connect more with myself and find my own motivation to shoot. The truth is all my heroes in photography are successful commercial photographers with distinctive voices, Paul Elledge, Albert Watson, Paolo Roversi, Richard Avedon...

The truth is to make images in spite of commercial pressures and lack of inspiration. The truth is the image. The truth is that the image takes you. All you can do is prepare yourself for it.

I tell this to so many people and I should listen to myself. The best thing for a photographer is to live life well. Here is to living well back here, at home, in Singapore.

5 comments:

pfong said...

Welcome home!

Anonymous said...

Hey Heng, welcome back to sunny Singapore.

Overhauling your operating structure and starting from a clean slate is a great idea. I agree it's a wise decision.
I reckon it takes quite a bit of courage to do that, but nonetheless, I am certain it will bring your work to a new level of practice.

Best wishes to your new journey,

Dan

jcyrhs said...

welcome back!

seventh stranger said...

hey, welcome back! did you miss the local food here?

Heng said...

Man, I missed the food. Drop me an email if you want to borrow the battery pack. If you like it I will sell it even. After Chicago I decided not to mess around, I am getting profoto portable packs.