Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Letting go, finding peace

I am reading the book Six Impossible Things to believe before Breakfast by Lewis Wolpert. One of the ideas in the book is that we are programmed from young to believe in causality. This comes from our tool making abilities, where we see some action resulting in some tool or outcome.

I have always believed in hard work. And I have been brought up to respect the people around me, to treat them nice. I have been dumbfounded by why my efforts to improve myself and to treat people nicely have not resulted in acceptance. I have sub consciously believed in causality. I have believed that I am responsible for the success and failure of my relationships, my business, politics and even global warming. It makes me depressed when all that effort does not give the results I expect it to. And I have been wrong. I am responsible for my own effort and my own actions. But whether some woman likes me or whether ultimately my business succeeds or fails is beyond my control. Heck, so many of us outside the United States did not want George Bush to have a second term but were dumbfounded when he got in a second time, with a majority to boot.

I am at peace now. I have not given up. I am still going to try and succeed in the photography business and in photography. I am going to continue to treat people as nicely as I can. But the difference is that if things do not go the way I had anticipated it, I am not going to take it personally anymore. My father has told me time and again that things are not under our control. I guess that I have understood it intellectually but it never sunk it. It has now.


nanie said...

glad to know that you've learnt to let go. i'm still struggling with this. i know this theory... but i still stuggle when people dislike me for reasons i cannot fanthom, or when people are not willing to give me a second chance, even when i try hard to make restitutions. Maybe I didn't work hard enough?

haha... see... i'm still stuck in this miry clay.

nanie said...

oh, forgot to mention that I have a blog too. Feel free to visit :)

Charles Sng said...

All I can say is: That's life.

You cannot control how people think. Some people just don't respond to good behaviors, and it could be due to their upbringings.

And if treating them nicely with the expectation that they will treat you back the same way, it usually results in disappointment. It also creates an agenda why you are treating people nice in the first place...

Be nice anyway, there are many unseen and uncounted blessings that might have happened due to your good ways, and many nice things yet to come to you :)

Ganbatte! :)