Letting go, finding peace

I am reading the book Six Impossible Things to believe before Breakfast by Lewis Wolpert. One of the ideas in the book is that we are programmed from young to believe in causality. This comes from our tool making abilities, where we see some action resulting in some tool or outcome.

I have always believed in hard work. And I have been brought up to respect the people around me, to treat them nice. I have been dumbfounded by why my efforts to improve myself and to treat people nicely have not resulted in acceptance. I have sub consciously believed in causality. I have believed that I am responsible for the success and failure of my relationships, my business, politics and even global warming. It makes me depressed when all that effort does not give the results I expect it to. And I have been wrong. I am responsible for my own effort and my own actions. But whether some woman likes me or whether ultimately my business succeeds or fails is beyond my control. Heck, so many of us outside the United States did not want George Bush to have a second term but were dumbfounded when he got in a second time, with a majority to boot.

I am at peace now. I have not given up. I am still going to try and succeed in the photography business and in photography. I am going to continue to treat people as nicely as I can. But the difference is that if things do not go the way I had anticipated it, I am not going to take it personally anymore. My father has told me time and again that things are not under our control. I guess that I have understood it intellectually but it never sunk it. It has now.

Thousands in US anti-war protests

BBC NEWS | Americas | Thousands in US anti-war protests

One of the national co-ordinators of the protests, Leslie Kielsen, told Reuters that the "half a trillion" dollars spent on the war was money that could have been used for education, social housing and to feed the hungry.

Unwanted prints - No more

I have been approached by a theatre company who needs 4R prints to destroy in a play next year. They say they need about 2000 prints. I think that I have a couple of hundred lying around that I can donate. Does anyone out there have photographic prints they are willing to let some artists creatively destroy? :)

I have been told that the theatre group has found their prints, so there is no more need for prints. Thanks.

The Pond web site updated

I guess it has been a while. With two blogs and Face Book, updating The Pond web site does not seem to be so important. But it is time.

I have updated the portraits and fashion sections under work.
I have also updated the project and figure work under personal. I have added a lot of my work from Tuscany. I think this is an indication of the direction that I want to go to.

Josef Koudelka

Josef Koudelka

"The maximum, that is what has always interested me."

This is the only quote from Koudelka, but what a quote.

Somewhere Deep Down, We Still Care. Don't We?

Somewhere Deep Down, We Still Care. Don't We?

When I hear about the fires going on in California or the uprising in Burma, I know that something wrong is happening. But I am no longer able to emotionally react to it. There is just so much happening out there in the world. I really wonder, do we still care? With the difficulty with staying alive today, how cane we address other people's suffering? This article is timely.

Strobist: Young Blood: A Chat with Photographer Joey Lawrence

Strobist: Young Blood: A Chat with Photographer Joey Lawrence

Wesley pointed out this young 17 year old photographer Joey Lawrence. There are these young prodigies who are taking over the commercial market. Their work is 50% imagination and 50% photoshop work. Their photographic school is Flickr.

There is a Singapore prodigy, on Flickr she is known as Zemotion.

I think that the dropping price of decent DSLRs and photoshop is allowing these young gifted people make an impact that is changing the landscape of photography in general and commercial photography in particular.

In the eye of the storm

I have pursued photography for eight years now, confounding some people that I have come this far, surprising others that I am still struggling to find work. These eight years have been full of discoveries and firsts. I have slowly overcome my own misgivings about my own photography by looking at the different aspects of my practise and working on them. There is still a lot that I want to do in photography, but there is a part of me that is confident that I can produce good photographs. Good enough to be paid for my services. I have worked on the photography as well as the business. I am still working on my photography and promoting my company, but things are still almost silent. At this point, I may be in the eye of a storm, or I may be in a country where there is not a market for the type of photography I practise. The trend in photography in Singapore tends to be advertising and fashion photography. These types of photography are not that interesting to me. I like to take portraits and dance photographs.

The point of this all is that I may be good at what I do, but it may be that other people are really just not interested. Like classical music nowadays and its dwindling audience. It is not that these musicians are not good, it is just that the masses prefer popular music.

I think that by the end of next year, I will have to asses the situation and see if my present working model works or if I have to change it. It has been about a year since I restarted work as a corporate portrait photographer. Maybe it just takes more time.

I realise, while talking to friends, that no one owes me a living or with so many photographer out there, there is no reason why I am more special or better than anyone out there. It is up to me to find the meaning in my work and to convince an audience of the worth of what I do. In other words, if I want anything done, I have to do it myself. At least in initiating projects and work. While doing a project it is possible to get people to assist and do parts of the work, but I have to orchestrate the process. Once I have a body or work, I have to present and market the work. Everyone is looking for attention to their own work, and the competition is fierce. I feel this of all walks of life in this modern age, not just photography.

Once again I will say, that the path I have chosen has challenges, but so does every other path. I continue on this path because I have no interests in other paths. And even if my current model does not work, I am not giving up photography. I will simply find another way to continue being a photographer. Better to live a life struggling for a cause, than drifting aimlessly in relative comfort.

PRIVATE international review of black and white photographs

PRIVATE international review of black and white photographs

And here is another online magazine that is interesting. This suggestion is from Geoffrey Pakiam.

Blueeyes Magazine

Blueeyes Magazine

I just had a photographer's gathering at the studio because Wes is in town. Bryan van der Beek told me about this site. Check it out. A site for long term photo stories.

Abstinence hurts

Abstinence hurts

It is funny that I went to the Christian Aid web site because someone is using the name of Christian Aid to con me out of money. I wanted to report the letter to them.

I came across this letter and I am pleased that at least some practical Christians have come to the realization that asking the congregation to abstain actually hurts because it breeds ignorance and young people then get infected with HIV.

Expat Living Cover

Expat Living magazine has chosen an image of mine to be put on the cover of their magazine this month. They did an article on my favourite photo. They liked it so much that they decided to use if for the cover.

Inkafterlife.com creating photo memorials from ashes.

Inkafterlife.com creating photo memorials from ashes.

I read about this in Gizmodo and wondered if this was a joke. But here is the actual site. I have been thinking about death quite a bit recently. But I really cannot think how mixing ask of a loved one and printing a picture is relevant????

UNIQLOCK

UNIQLOCK



Ok. I like Japanese Girls and I like dance. So people send me links like this, cute Japanese girls dancing to advertise knitware. :) Man, if I don't do any work for the next month you know why. Thank goodness I have unlimited broadband or else I would loose so much money on internet access. Muahahahahaha.

Power Breakthrough: Betavoltaic Battery Could Power Your Laptop for Thirty Years - Gizmodo

Power Breakthrough: Betavoltaic Battery Could Power Your Laptop for Thirty Years - Gizmodo

Unbelievable. Could this be for real?

Quotes from Memories of a dog by Daido Moriyama

In the same way that people have them, towns have dreams and memories. Just as people's memories are made from a weave of various strands, so too a town is a mixture of all matter and space-time. Towns have survived by mercilessly consuming all of the ambition and despair that humans have. From ancient times people, inspired by countless dreams, have built towns on this earth, and as ambition gave way to futher ambition, countless towns were also lost from the earth. Towns unfailingly mix the traces of this human ambition and despair in memory, which then continually queries human beings with new dreams. In all of the towns on earh, no matter how often they may turn to dust beyond the reach of time, the memory of the dreams of the people who came before are securely conveyed to the people of the next generation. I am often carried away by an inexpressible thought: The memories of how many towns lie in layers under the piece of earth I am standing on right now! This is fabulous, like pausing on the bridge that spans the river of space-time that flows from ancient times to the present, and on into future. When I walk now, camera in hand, through an actual town, I am listening to the memories of dreams spoken by a town that once was, and I am also envisioning a modest documentation addressed to the dreams of the town to come.

People live in the immediate present. If one has an instant awareness of being alive, it is nothing but the immediate present. We no longer have any feel for the past we have lived. When people realize that the time they supposedly lived through actually has no substance and that there are no means of self-verification, they tend to be seized with fear and an unspeakable apprehension about the excessive certainty of it all. Because we are living our everyday lives does not mean that we are constantly aware of being alive, not does it mean we have a definite tomorrow. In the end human existence has essentially nothing to rely on. The scenes I am certain I saw some thirty years ago could just be something that I am convinced that I saw in my own memory, and it is possible they were imaginary scenes to start with. With a completely transformed landscape before me, I am suddenly aware of how forsaken my life is, and how it is not possible to verify to anyone else the scenes that I once saw.



It is amazing to me how self-aware Daido Moriyama is. I usually think that photographs should speak for themselves and if the photographs need explanation, then the photographer has failed. But these insights are not Moriyama describing his photographsb, but Moriyama musing about his thoughts and life. You do not see how he photographs, but his process leading up to his photography. Reading Moriyama's thoughts has given me much food for thought. There is so much wider perspective, that can add new dimensions to my own work as an image maker. This is wonderful! I cannot and do not want to be a Moriyama wannabe, but he has shown me new possibilities. And that is all one photographer can do for another, show possibilities.

Tzuki Cool!

In spite of my age, I am drawn to this character of a rabbit by Wang Momo. Here is the site for Tzuki (rabbit) emoticons.

How to Quit Facebook - wikiHow

How to Quit Facebook - wikiHow

If Facebook is taking over your life, here is a DIY cure yourself treatment. If this fails, you probably will need professional help!

Web of cash, power and cronies - World - theage.com.au

Web of cash, power and cronies - World - theage.com.au

It is interesting that we have an arms industry here in Singapore that sells arms to oppresive regimes.

Stand with the Burmese Protesters

Stand with the Burmese Protesters

Please sign a petition against the violence in Burma. It is a sad thing that is happening there.

Stand with the Burmese Protesters

Stand with the Burmese Protesters

Please sign a petition against the violence in Burma. It is a sad thing that is happening there.